Friday, August 19, 2011

Lithium and laptops

I have a terrible habit of unknowingly suppressing emotion until it explodes inside of me. Then I'm left feeling depressed and hurt over things that happened months ago.

"I wanna stay in love with my sorrow,
But, God, I wanna let it go."

Sometimes, I think songwriters that I've never met understand me better than I do lol. Well, I'm sure that no one wants to hear me whine about things that happened in April, so lets change the subject.

School is starting on Tuesday, and I MIGHT have a reliable source of money starting September. $15 to watch a kid three days a week. It's better than nothing, right? I could put that money towards a laptop, which I desperately need. I can no longer stand sharing a computer with my mother... privacy is something that's important to me. Don't worry, I don't have disturbing files on this computer, but I hate having her breathe down my neck. The computer is in her room too, so she usually kicks me out when I'm right in the middle of something. Even if that something is writing. "You have pencils and paper, Julianna. You can use those." *rolls eyes* I dislike writing with pencils and paper because I hate my own hand writing (seriously, it looks like I tried writing with my feet) and it's just easier to do it on a computer. You don't have to scratch things out or have to worry about eraser marks getting stuck to your clothing.

Anyway, back to laptops. A Dell Precision M4600 would be amazing, but the starting price is around 1,700... by the time I get that kind of money, they'll have an improved (and more expensive) model on the market. So I guess I'll have to go with this: Asus K53


Thursday, August 18, 2011


I'm back... again. Sorry for not posting much, but I was stupid and forgot the fact that I had a blog. HURR DURR.

I was in Wisconsin all weekend for an orchestra retreat. The music I had to play for my quintet was so incredibly awful. For me, anyway. There was nothing melodic about my piece. At all. I understand that cello is nice and bassy, and perfect as a solid foundation... but damn it, Mozart. You could have at least written Diveritimento with a bit more melody for the cello/bass part. I was dying while I was playing... even on stage. The rest of the retreat was amazing and my group was hilarious. They put three redheads in the same hotel room... and the one girl who wasn't a "ginger" was complaining about having so much red hair in the shower drain. Ooops.

Oh, and an old friend of mine from Jr. High went on the retreat. It was exciting for both of us, because the last time we saw each other was December during the orchestra festival... and even then, we could only talk for a few brief moments. She kind of disturbed me... because she used to be a hardcore Democrat, but now she's a Libertarian? LOL, how does that happen? I was preached at about 2nd Amendment rights the whole first day... I eventually snapped when we were out for a snack at Culvers, and said to her face that most Libertarians are idiots (which is not like me at all, and I felt bad the next day lol... but it's kinda the truth). We then screamed at each other about politics, blissfully unaware that everyone was watching us. My oh my, have those nut jobs gotten to her... she sounds just like someone from the NRA.