Good Soldier

Awhile ago, perhaps it was December, a friend of mine sent me a song. It wasn't just any song. It was a song that reminded me so much of myself, I wanted to hunt down the group that performed it and demanded to know how they got inside my head and transformed its contents into a song.

I found the song again today... it still applies to me. I guess I don't change much. It's like I'm a broken record, doomed to play the same notes over and over until someone breaks me and throws me in the garbage.

Here are the lyrics. It's "Good Soldier" by Flobots:

"Today you don't have to be a soldier
Don't have to be a soldier, stand down
It's okay to be as you were
Be as you were again

Is it a scheme, is it a vision
Is it a dream, is it a nightmare
Or is it a competition and if it is
What if we don't fight fair?

What's bald in the morning
But in the evening has white hairs?
What's the cause of global warming
And could it be these things right here?

I've got an idea that might not reach
Anyone for another light year
Got a hit-list and a cloud of
Witnesses which is pricier

Well, my tears are mightier
Than my fears so mighty Earth
Provides me hurt that I keep buried
Until I convert it to writing

I was wounded, I was injured
I was made to move to Denver
I was taken through a new adventure
Paint stripped from it's first fixture

I was placed in another picture
I was rushed to a new landscape
And ripped away from family
Scraped into a politician's mistake

And what's left of talents in chests beneath oceans
Welled up behind eyelids has yet to be salvaged
A world of emotions, a guess that it might be okay
That it could be all right if expressed

Today you don't have to be a soldier
Don't have to be a soldier, stand down
It's okay to be as you were
Be as you were again

Am I a woman raised man-machine
Damaging everything I touch?
By not caring enough
Or too much?

Am I a far flung fantasy
Setting free enmity?
And making friends from enemies
And bridges for the in-betweens

For the highwayman on the low road
The tired back with a large load
The trials spanned till I found hope
And I found more when I slo-mo'ed

Enough of the back to face front
Let those in the pack of the race run
I'm needing an evener pace one
Too hasty makes mistakes

Can you carry a song as strong as your arms
Can bear that you keep from harm?
And it will be there when you go wrong
Make a heart from your bond, your treasure's right here

And what's left of talents in chests beneath oceans
Welled up behind eyelids has yet to be salvaged
A world of emotions, a guess that it might be okay
That it could be all right if expressed today

Today you don't have to be a soldier
Don't have to be a soldier, stand down
It's okay to be as you were
Be as you were again"